"2018 推句 21 - 30"의 두 판 사이의 차이

장서각위키
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(Sentence 30 : (Kyrie))
(Sentence 22 : (Althea Volpe))
58번째 줄: 58번째 줄:
 
+ (YO) Line 1: "you are sadden by it '''and do not sweep them up'''."<br />
 
+ (YO) Line 1: "you are sadden by it '''and do not sweep them up'''."<br />
 
Also in Line 4, it would be "zither inside the bamboo". But I wonder if it is zither inside '''a''' bamboo or zither inside bamboos (i.e., bamboo forest)".<br />
 
Also in Line 4, it would be "zither inside the bamboo". But I wonder if it is zither inside '''a''' bamboo or zither inside bamboos (i.e., bamboo forest)".<br />
+ I changed the translation with the corrections and I personally prefer the version "inside bamboos" because it gives me a sense of zither's sound diffusion.
+
+ I changed the translation with the corrections and I personally prefer the version "inside bamboos" because it gives me a sense of zither's sound diffusion.<br />
 +
(YO) Good reason!
  
 
==='''Sentence 24 : (Fran)'''===
 
==='''Sentence 24 : (Fran)'''===

2018년 7월 11일 (수) 19:50 판

Original Script

::: 推句 :::

22.

花落憐不掃요

月明愛無眠이라.

月作雲間鏡이요

風爲竹裡琴이라.


24.

歲去人頭白이요

秋來樹葉黃이라.

雨後山如沐이요

風前草似醉라.


30.

細雨池中看이요

微風木末知라.

花笑聲未聽이요

鳥啼淚難看이라.


Translation

Sentence 22 : (Althea Volpe)


Flowers fall and you are sadden by it and do not sweep them up

The moon is bright and your love [for it] doesn’t make you sleep

Moon rises among the clouds and makes the sight of a mirror

The wind becomes like zither inside bamboos.

  • Discussion Questions:

+ (YO) Line 1: "you are sadden by it and do not sweep them up."
Also in Line 4, it would be "zither inside the bamboo". But I wonder if it is zither inside a bamboo or zither inside bamboos (i.e., bamboo forest)".
+ I changed the translation with the corrections and I personally prefer the version "inside bamboos" because it gives me a sense of zither's sound diffusion.
(YO) Good reason!

Sentence 24 : (Fran)


The years pass and people's heads turn white. Autumn comes and the foliage turns yellow. After the rain the mountains seem bathed. Before the wind the grasses appear drunk.

  • Discussion Questions:

+ I just decided to leave the ambiguity of 風前. Poetry is meant to be polysemic.

Sentence 30 : (Kyrie)


One sees a fine rain in the middle of a pond.

One knows a slight breeze from the tips of trees.

The sounds of laughing flowers are not heard.

The tears of crying birds are difficult to see.

  • Discussion Questions:

(Fran) It's interesting that you translated this poem into the active voice. It raises an interesting question about wanting to avoid the passive voice--something that I also raised in another passage. But the original poem here seems to be rendered in the passive: 細雨池中看 might be "The fine rain is seen in the middle of the pond." I wonder if it's important or not to keep that voice (if in fact I'm right about the Chinese actually being in passive voice).